It's about us, so you matter too
by Hisagi-Chan
Summary: Just when Derek opens his mouth to say something, Stiles beats him to it and asks, "What do you want?" If Stiles thought Derek couldn't look any more puzzled, he was definitely proved wrong when Derek's eyebrows climb up higher, his eyes going wide.


Stiles never meant for this to happen. He didn't want to add to the shitload of life Derek has. But here they are. After going through so much together, after Derek helped to get rid of the Nogitsune, dealing with the loss of Allison, with Isaac leaving, with another Banshee, with a fucking werecoyote.

To be completely honest, Stiles had already added to the shitload of Derek's life back then when he first met him. When Derek tried to help Scott with his wolfiness and then got his own pack for a little while. Stiles who never really had an idea what's going on and just googled stuff. He surely hadn't made Derek's life better, except for the few times he helped or saved him.

But now, after everything that happened, Stiles figured they were somewhat along the lines of _friends_.

But friends don't really make each other's life more miserable than it already is, do they?

Either way, after the Nogitsune was deafeated Derek sticked around. He said it's probably better, because there will always come someone to play the role of the big bad in Beacon Hills. And he can't always run away from it. Even though it would be okay, because Derek always puts others first, though you might not see it without knowing him.

Scott was dealing with the loss of Allison and Isaac leaving. So Stiles didn't want to bother him with his own problems. And more often than not he found himself in the company of Derek who didn't seem to mind.

That two months later, on a day Stiles was more silent than he already was since the Nogitsune, Derek kissed him and they just happened. Cuddling and hugging, more kissing, they even got so far as to jack each other off. But both silently agreed not to go further for now. And neither of them was surprised that they happened, maybe only about the fact that it took so long.

Now it was three and a half months after the Nogitsune and they are making out on Derek's bed in the loft. Because no one really bothered to come there anymore except for Stiles. It didn't hold many good memories.

Derek is propping himself up on his elbows next to Stiles' arms, their kisses a mix between slow sweetness and rushed forcefulness, at the same time rutting against each other.

The relationship seems pretty evenly, but that is not quite true. Because Derek has been nothing but caring and careful when he's with Stiles. Asking if he's ok, saying he is _so, so good_ and _beautiful_, asking what he wants to do.

And Stiles' heart melts just a little bit at the memory. Not that he'd ever admit it openly.

Because if anyone would deserve to be treated like the most precious thing it should be Derek. He didn't have anything good happening in his life in a long time.

So when Derek mumbles again how beautiful Stiles is, the latter just stops. It takes Derek a few seconds to catch on and move back a bit to get a good look at the other. Stiles can see that he puzzled the other man and sees how Derek starts to think about what he did wrong again.

Just when Derek opens his mouth to say something, Stiles beats him to it and asks, "What do _you_ want?"

If Stiles thought Derek couldn't look any more puzzled, he was definitely proved wrong when Derek's eyebrows climb up higher, his eyes going wide.

'Wow, that's a rare look,' he thinks before focusing back on Derek.

Not a second later is he hit with something wet on his cheek. Looking at Derek confirms that it is tears. Derek Hale is actually crying. It makes Stiles freeze, because _'what'_?

When he gets a grip on himself he reaches one hand up to cup Derek's left cheek, which makes the other jerk and sit up. Stiles follows and reaches out to grab Derek's arm before he can even think about running away. Because that's what Derek does. Not talking about feelings.

Derek choking on a sob finally makes Stiles speak again.

"Talk to me. Please."

Another few moments of silence follow before Derek shakes his head and tries to free his arm from Stiles' grip. It is only halfheartedly so no chance of success there.

"Yeah, not gonna happen, buddy. Tell me what I did."

"Nothing."

"Mh." Stiles decides to be quiet for once, because he knows that it freaks Derek out if he wasn't acting like himself. It might be a dickish move when Derek is obviously bothered by something, but it's hard enough to make him talk on a good day.

Stiles isn't disappointed though.

"I... no one... it's not about me."

Another few moments of silence while Stiles tries to figure out what was the problem, backtracking the last minutes. It doesn't take long.

"No, it's not. It's about us. So you matter too."

People often say that Stiles is an a-hole, hurting people with his sarcasm. But he actually understands people easily. And understanding what Derek is going through might be difficult, but Stiles has a bit of an idea.

Stiles sighs and moves a bit closer to bump his shoulder against Derek's.

"You know, just because the higher-ups think that you should have a lot of bad stuff happen to you, doesn't mean you don't deserve anything good. And if I ... if I can help give you something good, then I will do it. You didn't do anything to be sentenced to have this life, but we should try to make something good happen when we can."

Still nothing.

"I'm not going to worship you, Derek. Just small things. You can tell me what you want. You should know me enough, that I won't turn it against you."

"I don't want to use you."

Rolling his eyes, Stiles slaps Derek's head with the back of his free hand. "Dude, I know that wouldn't use someone. Saying mean things to get them to go away to protect them? Yes. Being an asshole to hide your insecurities? Yes. Playing with someone to hurt their feelings? No. Definitely no."

Derek huffs. "You're so insufferable."

"Yeah, I know. That's why you love me."

Derek shakes his head and moves to lie down while pulling Stiles along with him.

They lie there for a few moments, just staring at each other. Before Stiles can't hold it in anymore.

"Can we continue making out now? Is your midlife crisis over?"

Derek's answering glare is back to the usual.

"What?"

"I don't even know why I'm putting up with you. But can we..." Derek looks down at his hand fidgeting with Stiles' shirt where he has a hold on it.

Stiles lifts an eyebrow and waits Derek out.

"Can we just not today? I'd rather just stay like this. But next time I-"

"It's okay, Derek."

Derek looks back up and sees Stiles smiling softly at him. It's not hard to return.

"Thanks."

"Sure thing, Sour Wolf."

It's proof of how much they changed, that Derek doesn't even comment on this nickname anymore. They lie there in silence with closed eyes. But Stiles has some left over energy from their make out session and of course can't relax or fall asleep like that.

"So how about what you want?"

Derek opens his eyes and giving Stiles a blank look.

"Oh come on, Derek. We might not do anything now, but we can talk about it, no?"

"I wonder if you'll shut up when I _knot_ you."

It's quite funny to see Stiles eyes grow big and his mouth fall open. Derek holds it in a moment

before a smirk appears on his face.

"Omg, dude. Don't freak me out like that. For a second I thought you were serious. I mean there was a lot of folklore on the internet, but I was sure this didn't exist."

Derek just keeps smirking and closes his eyes again.

Stiles hearts misses a beat and he gapes for a second longer. "Derek. Derek please tell me you aren't serious."

"Go to sleep, Stiles."

"No, no, no, no no no! That is so not-"

He can't get further because Derek drapes an arm around Stiles' back and pulls him against his chest, so that his words are only muffled noises against him and a bit of moving around.

"You just have to wait and find out yourself."

When Stiles goes still against him, it's not hard to be lulled to sleep for both of them covered in the warm company of the other.


End file.
